No Freedom

I feel like im fucking trapped and have no way to express myself im writing this here cause i have no other way to express myself if i write on facebook i have my girl knowing all my business which fucking urches me and my “family” is so fucking judgemental and annoying it pisses me the fuck off and im writing this in the hopes that my girl doesnt go on her tumblr and read it cause i just want to let fucking everything out… eventhough i have people i know on this i still need to say it… so yea these days and not even just these days but my whole life is fucked up and i can honestly not give a fuck anymore the only person i felt loved me i see her texting and talking to people and hiding it and giving guys little nicknames on her phone and yea im an idiot for looking at her phone but hey can you fucking blame me when she does the same to me? i just dont know what to do and please family and friends dont fucking hit me up about this message cause im not talking about it im just saying this to say it not cause i need someone to talk to if you werent there for me before you wont really be there for me now so suck my dick and stop reading -.- but yea im just tired of everything im scared of my future and i regret my past and i know people might have it worse than me but i dont care i have it bad. I work and i dont get shit the money i get is merely used so i can survive and im only fucking 17!!!! no help from my parents cause my mom is locked up and my fucking dad dont give 2 shits about me =, ive been kicked out of my own “uncles” house and ive been taken advantage of my whole life just because im too fucking nice, its happened with girls and its happened with my own family and even friends i dont know who to fucking trust anymore and im pretty sure i wont ever i just feel like dissapearing cause i dont wanna know whats gonna happen to me i know my dream of being in the NBA wont happen cause i never got the correct training cause i never had the money or i was out of the united states in a fucking thirs world country being miserable as all hell i really dont know what to do im scared of my future and i dont wanna live in this present …